I’m Just A Girl

A girl on a journey through a life that quite often resembles Alice’s journey through Wonderland. I have a strange, wonderful, complicated life. I love and cry. I’m weird, can be crazy, have been known to love and laugh and dance with wild abandon… but is constantly told not to.

I’m just a girl. I have some truly amazing experiences. I’m very fortunate and I’m deeply blessed, but I also screw up, fall down, get broken, make more mistakes than I care to think about, hurt the people I love the most and I am constantly struggling to make sense of the things around me.

I’m just a girl with a mad Disney theme park fetish and a whole secret “Sim” world that is positively goofy and tremendously fun.

I’m just a girl who wants to belly dance and make pottery. I want to go to the symphony and let the music soak into my soul. Go to the theater and have my heart expand with joy. I want to paint and write and drink wine and have amazing conversations where new worlds are opened up to me.

I’m just a girl longing for a home and a place to belong.

I’m just a girl, trying to make sense of my feelings and my experiences, same as the rest of us. I’m trying to do good, leave the world changed some way for the better. I have hopes and dreams, but there are days I feel quite hopeless. I ache and I cry and I feel utterly alone.

I’m just a girl, a hopeless romantic who can’t trust. Who can’t let down her walls completely because every time she tries, the person who swore they’d be different, turns out not to be.

I’m just a girl trying to learn to understand and embrace the psychic abilities I’ve had all my life but pushed away under the guise of being “crazy”. Trying to understand past lives, soul mates, twin souls and what matters and what doesn’t in this world, in this life.

I’m just a girl trying to define her faith in a world of labels that never quite fit. Trying to worship and love the god I feel in my soul and share that without offending anyone or being apologetic for it.

I’m just a girl who’s learned to take mad leaps of faith, who’s seen miracles and lives by her intuition and finds that terribly scary and freeing at the same time.

I’m just a girl, who struggles with her weight and body image and is trying to lose a hundred pounds. I struggle with being an innately sexual person in a world who either fears or warps sex into something it was never meant to be.

I’m just a girl who dreams of all night conversations over good wine with a lover, or a small group of close friends who I treasure, and a safety I’ve never yet felt, not even sure what it is, but I long for it.

I’m just a girl who worries my work is never good enough, will never be embraced or loved.

I’m just a girl who wants tremendous success in her career and to touch lives all over the world.

I’m just a girl, who dreams of great love and grand passions. A girl who wants to dance in a sunflower field in France and make love all night in a thousand-year-old villa in Italy and hear the Vienna boy’s choir in person and the rain on one of those brilliantly blue roofs in Greece and ride the Orient Express.

When it’s all said and done… I hope that’s the life I write.

Author, Mystic, Disney Enthusiast, Dream Follower Extraordinaire.

Samantha aspires to bring joy and light to the world, one book, magazine, blog or live stream at a time. She’s a woman of deep faith, a twin flame, and has just completed one full year of Disney fun by going to Walt Disney World every single day from Sep23, 2016 to Sep 22, 2017 and now she writes about how taking leaps of faith and following crazy dreams can change your life.